I work part time as a computer tech asst while pursuing my Masters here in the US. So the other day, I had an unfortunate accident where I dropped a big server machine on my foot. In spite of the manly facade I put up to people inquiring about my swollen foot, I was reeling in extreme pain. No surprise, I was out of commission and out of my job for a few days. I enjoyed the visits I got from friends and the privilege to skip all work around the house. Then came the phase of funny one-line responses when people asked what was wrong with my foot. My favorite being “Server crash”. In this list of one liners was the reference to an old Nagesh film “Server Sundaram”.
Nagesh played a waiter a.k.a server in this comedy drama. I didn’t think twice before I put this up as a status in my Gchat. Then, I had the chance to watch the movie again, because I had nothing better to do. Nagesh plays a server who struggles in life and becomes a movie star but in the process he loses in his love life and in a gut-wrenching climax, his profession as a movie star prevents him from attending his own mother’s funeral. I was moved to tears at this scene. He later gives up his film career and returns to his old server job. I later came to know from my mom that the part where he misses his own mother’s funeral is actually what happened in real-life to Nagesh. This was indeed tragic.
The whole experience had me thinking and questioning myself about what was I doing here. I am here miles away from home, pursuing a big dream of becoming a successful engineer. But, in the process, I am missing out a lot of things. I live away from my parents, miss out almost all good and bad things back home, don’t get to hang out with my friends and lots more. I am not even sure if I’ll get to see my parents and my home within the next two years. Slowly, I was relating Sundaram’s life with mine. Will I be made to make the same sacrifices he made? Will I able to live with myself having made all the sacrifices? Will it be worth it?
But then I looked at the real Server Sundaram, Nagesh himself. He made all the sacrifices as Sundaram and many more, but in the end he didn’t give up his dream like Sundaram did. He lived and died as a great actor. He made a few sacrifices for himself and few more for his dear ones. Though a few tragic things did happen to him, it was beyond his control. He could have stayed a clerk in the railway department, as he was before becoming an actor, and still missed his mother’s funeral. But, he rose above that tragedy and was able to give happiness to his loved ones and his fans all over. He hid his sadness and made us all laugh.
So, I asked myself again, Is it all worth it? Damn yes it is. My dream may be to become a successful engineer but what I truly wish for is to keep my parents happy. So I have to make a few sacrifices on the way, but I’ll be grateful for it at the end.
I wanted to share this to all the countless Sundarams out there, stepping out of their sweet haven to pursue bigger dreams, to give a better life for those they care for. You are not alone guys. We all aspire for a better life and our efforts for it alone matters in the end. As for me, I am “back on my feet” (my last one-liner for this incident. Promise!!) and up and about my old job with a new found sense of responsibility 🙂